


'Tis International Talk Like A Pirate Day, Mr. Stark!

by happyaspie



Series: Tony Stark is a Good Mentor [24]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Exasperated Tony Stark, Helicopter Mentor Tony Stark, International Talk Like A Pirate Day, Peter Parker Be a Precious Little Lad, Peter Parker Be a Real Mess, Peter Parker is a Mess, Pirate Peter Parker, Precious Peter Parker, Random & Short, Tony Stark Be A Grand Mentor, Tony Stark Be Exasperated, Tony Stark is a Good Mentor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 19:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20698646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyaspie/pseuds/happyaspie
Summary: It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day and Peter is not about to miss out on celebrating... even while he's out and about as Spider-man.  Tony doesn't understand but humors him anyway.(Just a silly, short and random story...)





	'Tis International Talk Like A Pirate Day, Mr. Stark!

**Author's Note:**

> Saw that today was International Talk Like a Pirate Day and threw this together for fun. ;) 
> 
> Alas! Enjoy the tale me hearties!

It was four o'clock in the afternoon and Tony had just finished what had to have been his sixth cup of coffee for the day despite the late afternoon hour. He'd just sat down at his workbench and began to flip through the various designs and upgrades that were all demanding his attention when FRIDAY's voice rang through the room. "I've just received communication from the Spider-suit. The AI is reporting erratic behavior and disturbances in speech patterns though all vitals appear to be with average parameters. Would you like for me to pull up the footage?"

"Sure, why not.", Tony sighed out as he turned his attention away from the work and towards the holographic image that was now being projected before him. He leaned back casually in his chair and sipped at his coffee not expecting to see much. The kid was always erratic and rambled on a regular basis. If anything, he was making sure that the code in the suit wasn't damaged in some way causing it to send him unnecessary reports. 

Then the second the sound faded in, he was practically spitting the coffee he'd just gotten into his mouth all over his workbench. The kid was swinging through the city, which wasn't really all that surprising for a Thursday afternoon but what_ was _surprising was the audio accompanying it. "Alas, Ye Freebooter! Ye may as well stop now! I've got riggin' and I'll have ye tied up in no time!", Peter shouted as he began to rapidly fire balls of webbing towards what Tony could only assume was some sort of petty shoplifter. Then the second the kid had hit his mark he was dropping down to the ground and approaching the _definitely not_ intimidated looking man. "Ye shouldn't be pillagin'. Tisn't polite and lands ye in the hold.--"

That was as far as Peter got before Tony was pushing a call through. "--Alright, kid what's up with the old English...", Tony started before catching a glimpse on something in the corner of the screen. "...and is that a... _plastic sword_?"

"Ah! Ahoy there, Captian Stark! I--", Peter began with a smile as he turned his back on the criminal he's just caught and started swing himself towards the top of the nearest building.

"--Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there.", Tony replied while trying to suppress any amount of amusement that may or may not have been attempting to creep into his tone. "Don't you dare call me _Captain anything_ ever again, got it, kid?"

"Aye-aye sir.", Peter dutifully replied. "Why be ye callin' me?"

After several seconds of just looking at the kid as if he'd lost his mind, Tony finally snapped out of it and addressed him. "Just get your spider-butt over here.", he finally said with an exasperated laugh.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Not even twenty minutes later, Peter was happily crawling through the lab window with what was indeed a plastic sword tucked into his belt. "Alright, kid... what is wrong with you. Did you hit your head or something?"

Removing his mask to reveal a goofy smile and a head full of mussed hair, Peter laughed. "Me head is doin' just fine, sir. I--"

"--Then why are you talking like that. Is this some new internet trend because if so, it's just as annoying as all the other ones. Maybe more so.", Tony interjected, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. He was still considering whether or not to have FRIDAY scan him because _this was weird even for Peter. _

Pulling his sword out of his belt and raising it up in the air, Peter skittered across the room. "I can't be stoppin' just yet. 'Tis International Talk Like a Pirate Day!", he announced with a grin.

"Come again?", Tony asked with a quirk of his brow. Surely he misheard... or the kid was making stuff up... or he really had hit his head at some point...

"International Talk Like a Pirate Day.", Peter repeated as if it should have been obvious. 

"That's not a thing.", Tony replied blandly bringing a look of pure shock to the kid's face.

"Aye, but it is. Ye can look it up and everythin' T'was on the news this very morn.", Peter said as he brought his non-sword-wielding-hand up to his chest in horror.

Deciding that it would be best to just give in for the moment in favor of getting a better explanation, Tony sighed. "Okay, Fine. Let's just say that it is in fact, '_International Talk Like a Pirate Day._'. What does a plastic sword have to do with it?"

"Alas! I have me an eye patch and bandana too!", Peter giddily announced as he produced said items and hurridly got them into place. 

"Yes, but why...?", Tony asked with a roll of his eyes that was meant to cover up for the fact that he was now smiling too. The kid looked ridiculous, at best. 

"...because if ye be dressed like a Pirate, Krispy Kreme will be givin' ye a free doughnut. Which I've yet to receive. 'Tis on my agenda for the evenin'", Peter replied without missing a beat because he'd been counting down the days to his free doughnut. It had been marked on his calendar for weeks.

Nodding his head in understanding, Tony held out his hand in suggestion. "I'll buy you an entire dozen of doughnuts if you stop talking like that.", he said with a smile still tugging at his lips. 

"Aye, but that not be the point, sir!", Peter nearly shouted with playful enthusiasm. 

Waving his hand in dismissal, Tony sighed. "Okay, that's enough out of you. I don't want to hear one more word of pirate speak for the rest of the day.", he announced before attempting to turn back to his work. 

"Fine.", Peter replied in defeat even though another idea on how to spend the day had already popped into his head. "...but if I can't talk like a pirate then you have to at least sit-down and watch a pirate movie with me."

"I have work to do.", Tony replied as he gestured towards the numerous incomplete projects laying around the room. "You can help me if you want to... but only if you can keep talking like a normal person."

Ignoring his mentor's obvious jab and his offer, Peter grabbed him by the arm to pull him back away from the project he was about to start looking at. "Come on, Mr. Stark. It's a holiday."

"It's really not...", Tony said as he gave in to the kid's persistent tugging and turned back around with an amused laugh. 

Already pulling his phone out in order to prove a point, Peter began to rapidly type into the search engine before holding the phone just a couple of inches too close to Tony's face. "Google says otherwise.", he returned with an almost smug tone.

Shoving the offending phone away from his nose, Tony gave in. It would take longer to explain made up holidays than it would to just watch a stupid pirate movie. Or that's what he told himself. That was much easier than admitting that watching a movie with an overly excited spider child sounded better than working. "What movie?", he sighed out tiredly, rubbing his hands down his face for show. 

"Pirates of the Caribean?", Peter suggested before remembering a much better choice. "No, wait! You know that really old movie where Kermit the Frog is a sailor but there's a mutiny and the ship is taken over by pirates?"

"Muppets Treasure Island? ...FRIDAY, when was that movie released?", Tony inquired. He and the kid tended to have _very different_ ideas of what the term 'really old' meant. Then when the AI announced the release date he groaned. If Peter considered nineteen-ninety-six as 'really old' then the kid probably thought he was ancient and he didn't want to think about that. "Nineteen-ninety-six is_ not that old_, kid..."

_"Okay, so maybe it's not_ really old. ... but it's still _old_. That was _years_ before I was born, Mr. Stark. In _movie years,_ I'm pretty sure that makes it a classic.", Peter replied without thought. 

"Classic, huh?", Tony replied with a deep breath. 

"Mm-hmm. Can we watch it?", Peter asked already knowing the answer. He was sure he already had the man convince. For whatever reason, it didn't usually take much effort to get Tony to give in.

Tony sat there for a moment and pretended to be deep in thought. "Do you promise not to use the words 'aye' or 'alas' ever again?", he finally asked, as a last-ditch effort to prevent any future pirate talk. He was pretty sure it wouldn't work, though. Nothing thus far had stopped the pop culture references so he didn't hold any real hope. 

"No promises, Mr. Stark.", Peter said as he got up from the bench he'd been sitting on and started towards the elevator that would lead them to Tony's living space. 

"I thought not...", Tony admitted with a smile because he actually, probably wouldn't have it any other way. The kid was quirky, energetic and just in general fun to be around. 

"Can we make popcorn?", Peter asked in reply as they made their way into the living room together. 

Having already started towards the kitchen in anticipation of that very question, Tony laughed. "May as well, kid. May as well."


End file.
